Big Feelings™!
We have big feelings and we cannot lie!
Back in December, Apoorva of shelf offering published A Diary of Endings which struck a chord with Steph of Amuse. These sentences summarising 2023 in particular resonated:
“Of course, I failed and did not end up living the life I wanted to, but I came dangerously close a few times. I tried journalling, an activity that I chalked up to triviality and found that I didn’t have to labour over the words I was writing or take apart sentences and paragraphs and arrange them back together again (like I do for this newsletter).”
When Steph shared this post on Insta, Apoorva was grateful that this feeling had resonated, and they had a quick conversation over DMs, which went something like this:
“I feel like we should form some sort of internet writerly support group for big-feeling, creative food-adjacent women…”
“...Yes, very much so. Most of the conversations I have end up similarly, that we’re staring at the same giant wall that’s confounding us, trying to convey similar viewpoints and feeling so disillusioned in what’s happening around the world. I can also help in starting something!”
Being deeply passionate and political, and both experiencing some personal turmoil, we were comforted in knowing that we were not alone! We also sensed, through conversations with other writers, that we’re often quick to put others, or their writing on a pedestal, without realising many of us are dealing with the same issues: limited time and opportunities to write, a lack of mentorial or peer support, and the challenges of building an appropriate audience. Though confident enough to value our own contributions by throwing our voices through words into the newsletter sphere, we can often be self-critical or become disillusioned when trying to develop our careers within this industry.
Although newsletter platforms appear to be trying to create more of a community, the subscription model works in such a way that many communities of thought are populated by our peers, i.e. other up-and-coming writers who are often set up in competition with each other. As we’re often low-income, multi-hyphenate, or freelance, we simply do not have the available capital or access to financially support kindred writers whose work we admire on the many numerous newsletter platforms. We also acknowledge the stigma surrounding low income or unaffordability, which can stop people from asking for a free subscription to publications that offer this to readers.
By being open and honest about our experiences — our ‘Big Feelings’ — we believe we can help build and support a community that nourishes each other. In other words, a community of collaboration not competition! So we planned a web chat: Steph based in Edinburgh, Scotland, and Apoorva based in Chennai, India, and it didn’t take long at all for us to sketch together a plan as we were both on the same page:
We’d both written down ‘community not competition’ in our notes!
We both loved the idea of calling the group ‘Big Feelings’ as it’s these feelings that drive us to write, but also allow us to expose our vulnerabilities and ask for solace in community.
We felt it was important to create a safe and inclusive space for women1 who write on newsletter platforms about or around food.
We wanted to clearly define what we meant by ‘safe and inclusive’.
We were hopeful that this space could nurture conversations across continents and timezones and create opportunities for peer-to-peer mentorship.
We envision a community which would be happy to raise each other up, enable greater access to paid content, whilst maintaining professional boundaries for all writers involved.
Other than these principles, the shape and form of the community would be assembled by those in the community.
So, here’s Big Feelings™, a food writing community on Discord!
Big Feelings™ offers a space for writers of marginalised genders, including women, women-identifying individuals, and non-binary and gender non-conforming people, who are comfortable in a space that centres their experiences in food writing. We recognise and acknowledge the intersection of race, religion, caste, and gender identities, and it is our hope that we can provide an inclusive and accessible space regardless of identity, race, caste, ethnicity, sexual orientation and religion.
Do you have similar Big Feelings™? Please join our Discord channel to help build and nurture this community. There’s more info here.
We also welcome comments/ideas/suggestions to open up the discussion on this post.
*We welcome all women and trans women are women.
Potluck Playlist for March
March’s playlist is inspired by the recent piece I wrote called ‘One Day’ which makes reference to the Netflix show. It’s fascinating how quickly listening to these tunes can take me back to specific moments. It’s strange feeling 2020 in 2024, but comforting that we move on, from tune to tune, experience to experience.
I remember when I started watching the Netflix show, I wasn’t sure I was really on side until the Theme from S-Xpress launched a scene. There’s a reason the One Day Official Playlist on Spotify has over 106k followers already. It’s a banger, especially for us 80’s/90’s kids! My playlist is called ‘Swollen’:
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